Grazie

How do you say thank you to your entire life? I am feeling overwhelmed with gratitude this evening. Although I always thought I had a grasp on the opportunities that have been presented in my life, I have recently realized just how loved and supported I am.

When I made this decision to leave, I didn't really comprehend all of the emotions I would be feeling and how randomly they would come on. In the past few weeks I have oscillated from exuberation, to extreme loss, to overwhelming stress, to contentment, satisfaction and longing for peaceful simplicity. I have cried many a days while driving into work, realizing how many wonderful people I will no longer get to see every day or be a part of their daily lives. I am sad that I will not be a supportive and knowledgeable resource, helping people learn, develop and grow. And although silly, sad that I will not be looking at the magnificent front range with the purple and pink sunrise glowing upon the majestic peaks.

In this past week, I have experienced extremely generous support and encouragement from people who are not obligated, nor really have the time. But knowing that they see and support this potential in me, just as they did 5+ years ago, brings tears to my heart. I am so fortunate. Fortunate to have learned, trained and interacted with some of the most amazing people in this industry and to have them backing me up now as I make this leap ... away from them ... and toward my dream ... the landing will feel much stronger. And to know my friends are right there with me too, spending many special moments with them lately and cherishing those that we have shared over the last 5+ years. My life is so rich because of these wonderful people who have been involved in it. Tonight I bought 65 thank you note cards. I want to write a thank you note to every person who has touched my life, my heart and my soul. 65 won't even begin to cover it. WOW. Does it get better than this? I guess I will find out.

A year ago this week, I celebrated my "29 and a half" birthday and also shared a sad experience with a friend who suddenly lost someone very close to her. Yesterday, another very close friend experienced a similar sudden and tragic loss. I find the coincidence of these events intriguing. My heart is broken for these families- to never see their loved one again, never celebrate a holiday with them, or just be able to call them on the phone and hear their voice ever again. It was these types of situations that pushed me to make this choice for my life at this time. And every time I question myself, these events remind me of why this is important. No regrets. I don't want to wake up every day and wonder if I would have gone to Italy. I could be gone tomorrow, anyone could. And I need to know what happened when I went to Italy. I need to know that no matter what else happens, I will always have this and will never feel that I let it pass me by because it was hard. And let me tell you, this is hard. But most things that are worth getting are hard to get. That's why it's worth it.